NEW from Mylo! No more Uninsured Flying Objects

April 1, 2021 – U.S. intelligence agencies are now required by law to release an unclassified report to Congress on everything they know about UFO activities. Coming as early as June, these revelations could confirm what one third of Americans already believe – we are routinely visited by extraterrestrials. Forward thinking digital insurance agency Mylo announced plans to meet the unique coverage needs these spacefarers may have.

How does it work? As soon as alien life is confirmed, Mylo will invite first contact by transmitting a series of binary-coded messages to the stars that ask helpful questions like:

Can you handle a costly collision?

UFOs are known for physics-defying capabilities like hypersonic speed, erratic movement and wingless flight. “The tech that makes this possible wouldn’t come cheap in any world,” said Hanna Malone, Celestial Sales Team Leader. Without collision insurance, UFO pilots may survive a crash in the mountains of Wyoming but would still be on the hook for the full cost of servicing their saucer.

What if an irate farmer lawyers up?

Elaborate crop circles left in corn and wheat fields across the country may be mysterious, but the price tag isn’t. Costs for farmers can run into tens of thousands of dollars when loss of yield and crop replacement are factored in. Newly revealed space aliens will be glad they carry liability insurance if they’re hauled before a human court and slapped with both property and punitive damages.

Are you prepared for a probe fail?

Space invaders rely on specialized equipment. A damaged or stolen probe could derail the examination of a human subject. And a malfunctioning memory eraser may expose trade secrets. Mylo will offer property insurance at full replacement cost for the current value of key tools like these. Because of the time dilation produced by faster-than-light travel, an alien’s home world may have experienced centuries of inflation.

These and other unique insurance risks are being calculated now by Mylo’s newly-launched department Actuary 51. Payment is a more difficult issue that cuts both ways. If a client from beyond doesn’t use money, Mylo is considering some form of a barter system – but with strict conditions.

“One thing we won’t ever do is share our advanced technology with them,” said Ben Marks, Stellar Insurtech Developer.

April Fools!

For now, Mylo is focused on using our award-winning Mind of Mylo™ technology to connect down-to-earth clients with ideal insurance coverage for their many important needs. Let us find your exact solution for protecting your business, home, favorite vehicles and loved ones.

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