NEW! While you sleep, Mylo insures your dreams.
Insurance can help you feel prepared and protected during your most important waking moments. But what about the 7% of your life that you spend living in a dream world?
Digital insurance broker Mylo announced today that it will begin offering Dream Insurance, an affordable package of coverage tailored to the unique conditions faced by dreamers.
“These risk exposures rarely occur in real life,” said Andrea Rosen, Subconscious Hazard Assessor. “But every time you nod off, you really should be prepared for them.”
Incidents covered by Dream Insurance include:
Academic Amnesia: Do you suddenly remember a class you haven’t been attending all semester, and today is the big exam? Repeated episodes may not only damage your academic standing in your dream life but may also limit your earning potential.
Wardrobe Displacement: Many dreamers in public settings discover they left their house without something important – their clothes. Serial public nudity, especially in a setting that loosely resembles your workplace, could cause you to lose your dream job. Worse, you may have to make bail or pay expensive legal fees.
Vehicle Variability: Hitting the highway works differently in slumberland. Perfectly maintained brakes may give out for no reason, steering wheels may vanish from dashboards, and plunging cliffs may appear out of nowhere. Driving without dream insurance could mean handling the high costs of damage to your vehicle, yourself or others who dream and drive.
How does Dream Insurance work?
It’s easy! After you dream up an incident covered by your policy, all you have to do is call a friendly Mylo Dream Adjustor. These elite specialists have been licensed as both agents and hypnotists.
Your Adjustor will verify details of your claim by putting you into a trance and, if they check out, implant a post-hypnotic suggestion to receive your cash payout from one of our top-rated insurance carrier partners in your very next dream!
“It’s a little like being a therapist to our customers,” said Rodney White, Senior Dream Adjustment Trainer. “I love that I get to close every transaction with ‘pleasant dreams’ and actually mean it.”
Happy April Fools Day!
But here’s something that isn’t a dream: Mylo is changing the insurance game by using AI technology to meet you where you are with instant access to customized solutions at every stage of your business or life! We have a lot of exciting things coming, and we can’t wait to tell you about them!
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